I grew up going to church. Lutheran, if you’re curious.
There are lots of things I could say about the experience. For the most part, it was positive, but there was a lot about it that bothered me too, even as a kid.
I didn’t get the fixation on one intangible father-figure God, who frankly, was kind of a jerk.
I also didn’t relate to much of the teachings. Adultery and covetousness weren’t problems that were relevant to me as a kid and attempts by the church to update the language were hokey at best.
The ceremonies seemed completely detached from anything that was relevant to my life outside of the church.
The fixation on one book of books was strange to me, as there were so many other books and stories that I loved.
If I’m going to go a step further and be completely honest, I never understood what was being talked about most of the time and I never really believed in God either.
It didn’t help that when I asked about it more, I got obtuse answers about the importance of “faith” and “prayer,” which just seemed to sidestep my whole question.
Also, a lot of the morals that were presented to me via the church—especially around sex and relationships—were less than helpful. They served more to create internalized shame than give me any tangible guidance for life in early 90’s America.
But despite all this, there were positive aspects of the experience too.
I do remember going to church every week HOPING, even PRAYING, that there would be something more directly applicable to my world that would come out of the sermons. I loved the idea of a weekly get-together that discussed morals and a philosophy of life. I felt like it was a missing piece of the lessons I was taught at school. The promise of it all kept me attentive even if the reality never came to pass.
I didn’t like the specific music that was played, but I liked the concept OF music and people getting together to share it every week. For a short while, we even had a cool music minister that had us singing songs like “Lean On Me” that really resonated.
I made friends at church too. It was impactful to have a group of supposedly like-minded people that we communed with every week. I looked forward to seeing my church friends on Sundays, and later on, weekday afternoons with youth groups became a thing.
When we got older, I still appreciated the communing around ideas. They were talked about in a bit more relevant sense in youth group, although still not as direct as I would have liked and I ended up rejecting many of the ideas later.
There was also that subtle feeling of a “3rd space.” Life between home and school did seem dissatisfying in a way that was hard to deduce. There was an odd sense of “completion” from communing with a third group every week,
So this is all to say, that I always appreciated the concept and community of the church, even if I didn’t dig the specific institution itself.
In many ways, I do aspire to build up The New Narrative as this “third community” concept, a 21st-century rethink of what a “church” community could be.
We gather to discuss the world and what it means to be a human in it. We share our struggles and hopes. We connect on our values and reinforce the importance of them to each other.
Eventually, I hope we expand to a more cohesive philosophy to bind us together and collective action toward making the world a better place.
I know I’m not the only one that feels this way and has a desire for such an institution. I’ve talked to many people that have had a bad experience at church but still “miss it.”
I suspect a lot of what we miss is the community and communion of people coming together.
I suspect we all would have a desire to regularly discuss what’s important to us in an environment focused on our learning and growth.
I suspect the ritual, regularity, and support of the community had a subtle but important impact on our mental health and sense of purpose in our lives.
I hope to build out The New Narrative as an alternative institution in our lives, one that can fill that void many of us feel from missing church, but also promote a philosophy and sense of ideals that celebrates all of us for who we are and promotes togetherness over a new set of morals and narratives that are more equitable, sustainable and fulfilling for all of us, now and into the future too.
If this sounds intriguing to you, I’d love to have you follow up on this journey. I’m excited to see what we can create!
Thanks,
Nathan Young